In response to a comment from "Anonymous"...

Does this work for you?

7. Don't introduce your booty call to your kid

It's okay to have that person you call when you get a little lonely or have had too much to drink (or both). But your kid doesn't need to meet them. Don't fool yourself - those feelings you're feeling are hormones, not "this is my future, this is my soul mate". That's fine. Really. All that puritanical nonsense is just that - nonsense. Sometimes we need what we need, when we need it. But what our kids don't need is to meet our late-night friend. We don't have to use our children to justify our actions. If the day comes that booty turns into love, then by all means figure out a way for Junior to adjust.

But seriously, what's the likelihood of that happening? Until it does, have fun, be safe and lose the guilt!

I broke my own rule...

...and wore a hat I favored in my 20s. Guess what happened? It blew off about a mile from the coast when I was fishing on Saturday and immediately sunk.

I think that's what one calls "eating one's words".

5. Either turn the hat around or take it off.

You're not 12. You're not in a garage band, you're not in middle school, you don't look hip. You look like an old dude who thinks he's gangster. 

Please, let's start again. Change out the flat brimmed hat, put on a nice shirt, shave and smile. Then let me know if anything has changed. I think it might. 

A moment of tribute...

So, I just came from happy hour with a couple of friends (who suggested my happy hour knowledge should be a blog on its own, but that's neither here nor there at this moment) and it was pointed out, with a kind of "ahem", that maybe I was being a little harsh. Looking over this blog, I can see how that would be construed.  Aging in Los Angeles is not pretty, it's unforgiving, and when you find yourself single - in whatever capacity - over 35 (or even 32!), it's an uphill battle to maintain your sanity and your dignity. It's impossible to compete. And truly, that's the point of this - DON'T COMPETE! Be yourself. Be your age. Be graceful. 

Having said that, I must talk about Tony Alda, who died today. I didn't know him as well as a lot of people, but the time that I did spend with him was special. He had a way of making fun of me (note: the above photo where I'm tilting my head to get the "best angle") that almost no one was able to get away with. When he laughed at me, it really was "laughing with me", as cliche as that sounds, and he'll never know because I never told him how much that meant to me. Tony didn't get to "age cringelessly" because he was young when he died today, but he was graceful and loving and an amazing presence in the world.

He will be missed.

Now this is aging gracefully...

Of course, they are all movie stars...but so are the others I posted pictures of. What's the major difference? 

In a word: Acceptance. These four women are all examples of accepting who they are, and as closely as I peer, I don't see an orange spray tan on any of them, nor would I guess that any of them are borrowing their daughter's clothes.

4. Ease up on the Spray Tan

Okay, I know that a spray tan is only the tip of the iceberg with Donatella - but it would be a start. There's just no reason to be that...orange. There is nothing youthful about it, it doesn't scream "I've been in St. Bart's for the month". It just sends a sad message that a tan equals youth. And it does! That is true! A tan recalls summers squeezing lemon juice into your hair and rubbing baby oil onto your legs and belly. But those days are over. The sun's rays are poison, and looking that tan naturally is a sure death sentence. Looking that way because of a spray tan seems desperate. I'm sorry, but that's the word. Desperate and - and here's where I understand some angry reaction - old. The whole point of this blog is to find ways to look great without looking desperate, and there's just no getting around the fact that the tanner one looks, the older they look. You are defeating your very objective! While spraying yourself orange to maintain a youthful glow, you're only succeeding in calling attention to your no longer smooth, plump skin.

My advice? Sunscreen, hat, and Retin-A.