A general rule of thumb is, if you wore it when you were a kid or a young adult, you shouldn't be wearing it now. If you have your own kids, that should go without saying. Sometimes, though, the lines get blurred and we slip up. We're only human and it's natural to want to hang onto our youth. I know that I still feel like I felt when I was 18. My instinct is to grab that worn out vee neck tee and lock eyes with the hottie 20 year-old who works the juice bar at Whole Foods. But you know what? He'd feel sorry for me. It doesn't matter that I look fairly okay for my age. I am my age. There isn't a boyfriend jean or even a boyfriend in the world that will change that. Years ago my best friend at the time (I'd say BFF, but that topic will come later) and I rented an apartment above our landlady, who was probably 80 at the time. She wore cha-cha heels, tight pants and a boa around her neck. With a full face of make-up, she'd walk - rather, strut - the streets and smile at the young guys in the neighborhood. They were naturally horrified, but I had a certain empathy for her plight. I pictured myself at her age, not immune to dewy youthful skin and hopeful smiles - both of which I had at the time. However, I somehow knew that even though our bodies cooperated with time and gravity, our emotions and egos remained spry and expectant; it's simply up to us to figure out a graceful way to deal with it all, and that doesn't include wearing tattered mini-skirts and gladiator sandals.
If you want to have a healthy old age, you need to reject mindless stereotypes about being older. Did you know recent studies have shown that those who mindlessly accept negative cultural cues about aging are less healthy mentally and physically? Clothing is one of the biggest triggers for aging stereotypes. Most people try to dress appropriately for their age, so clothing in effect becomes a cue for ingrained attitudes about age.
ReplyDeleteMy advice would be to avoid dressing like you are one of the teen “tribes” which involves hip hop kids, punks/goth/emo, and definitely no over the top displays of skin. Otherwise wear what you like. The truth is you’re an adult and unless you’re famous – your kids think you’re uncool anyway. That’s part of them fighting for their independence away from you. Besides, why should you give a rat’s a** what some kid thinks?
As long as you are their mom and doing right by them in that capacity, what you decide to wear is of little consequence.