Have you ever felt your face flush when you've seen that guy in his 50s on a skateboard wearing an ironic concert tee? How about that mom in her 40s with the spray tan, a face that doesn't move, and jeans so tight and so low you have to force yourself to look away? Do you remember the times when you were a kid and your parents did something that humiliated you, something as innocent as saying hello to you in front of your friends? Your parents were probably wearing simple cotton khakis or an LL Bean skirt and Tretorns; imagine how the children of the dad on the skateboard and the mom in the spike heels feel?
This must stop. Dads don't get to "pound me some fist" with their son's friends; Moms are not allowed to borrow their daughter's Current Elliot jeans. Your children are not your friends, they are your children. You do not need to outnumber them in Facebook friends or out tweet them on Twitter. If you're going to the same concert, hopefully it's because Bob Dylan reaches across the generational divide and not because you're both partying at Coachella.
The truth is, you're too old. It's embarrassing and a little bit sad, but it's not too late. It may take some hard work, some changes in the way you think, some grief as you let go of the old to make way for the new. The good news is, you'll act your age and gain the respect of your children. You'll realize that the looks you've been getting are not because you're so hot, but because you're so wrong.
This guide will get you right again.
A fun, and funny, idea. Good stuff! Can't wait for future installments. Can we request a topic? I would love to see a post about 35+-year-old guys who wear baggy shorts, socks & sneakers, and baseball caps to work. Even in the ad biz and other industries with laid-back dress codes, some shit just doesn't cut it. Especially when it makes you look 12 years old at best. Looking forward to seeing what's up next...
ReplyDelete