21. Costumes to avoid if you're over 35

1) Playboy Bunny. Or, any bunny for that matter. Leave the ears and the fluffy tail to the pre-schoolers and the Millenials.

2) French Maid. (see above, minus the ears and fluffy tail)

3) Amy Winehouse. She's younger than you. If you really have a hankering for a f****d-up rock and roll chick, try Debbie Harry or Nancy Spungen.

4) Cheerleader. Aside from the obvious , it's just boring and unoriginal.

5) Prostitute*

6) Princess. Um...well, it seems pretty clear, doesn't it?

7) Naughty Nurse. Again, there's simply no reason for it. It's not tasteful, and it's clinging to a bygone era.

8) Flapper. Another one to leave for Generation Y.

9) Catholic School Girl. Not much to say about that except: Don't.

10) G0-Go Dancer. (see above)

* An exception to this is going as a rode-hard, hung-up-wet street-walking hooker. But, that would take a very healthy ego to pull off. God bless you if you can do it!

There are plenty of options out there, if you're still into dressing up. I can't remember the last time I did, simply because my son begs me not to do anything that might call attention to the fact that I'm his mother, and even a benign witch's hat or Zorro mask would, according to him, scar him for life. However, if I were going to dress up I might try something a little more original than an angel or a devil or Cleopatra. I don't know. Maybe I'd just get a little baby powder, put it under my nose, and pretend I was in Miami in the 80s.

Of course, I'd have to do that an an adults only party. And who knows when that might be?

Wherever you are, whatever you are, be safe and Happy Halloween!