But, just watched the season finale of Mad Men, and how is it that I'm siding with Don? Especially given that my own situation with my parents divorce was not so simple, not so cut and dried that either one was right, really. It was a complicated situation, and I probably do side with one more than the other, but for the sake of my own peace in the family, and my son's place in the family, I don't choose sides. It was hard, it sucked - and I know that because my own relationship didn't work out. I made bad choices that affected my kid, and will likely haunt him for the rest of his life. I mean, again - we're Upper Middle Class in a First World Country so really, how hard can it be? His parents broke up, that wasn't great, but he still gets love, good education, basketball shoes and utter devotion from both of his parents. When he comes to me later with his problems with me, I'll step up - but I'm saying now that he has it pretty good, under the circumstances.
Having said all that, watching Don Draper cheat for the past few years, seeing how he grew up and how his family life has played out - I don't know. I don't think he was so bad. So he cheated. Big deal. I mean, okay - commitments are made, vows are spoken. I guess I get that. But don't both people have to hold up their end of the deal? As in, love and understanding and friendship and compassion? And yes, I know - he lied about who he was. That was a big one. But in my viewing of the show, what I took from it, Betty absolutely loved getting that information about Don's past, learning he was Dick. She wanted OUT. I get that too. It was the 60s. Women were being subtly, and then not so subtly, told that their lives as housewives were meaningless - they should think about themselves for a change. It was the beginning of the "Me" generation (of which I spoke about in the blog just before this). In my view, Betty took that and ran with it. But she's sealing her fate - running from one guy to the next. That was absolutely not the point of the women's movement - from what I got, it was to go on without the men. Make it on your own. Whatever. None of it worked. Betty and Don are just the T.V. version of many of our parents, though ours not so glamorous - but at least, for the first time in my memory, portrayed realistically and sympathetically.
At any rate, as much as I am for the girls and always ready to take it for them, I'm on Don's side on this one.
Well the women's movement hadn't really kicked in yet. And that was not not how Betty was raised to think. But what is this guy's problem, proposing to a woman he barely knows?
ReplyDeleteI too have been feeling sympathy for Don. Especially since these past couple of weeks he really has been trying (and because JH's acting has been so amazing, that he makes me feel sympathy for Don). - Bonnie
Yes, JH's acting is first-rate (and he's so handsome; I can be a sucker for that). From what my mom says, the subtly of "me" was beginning in the 60s. Maybe 1963 was a little too early, though. Still - Betty has no problem fitting into that "me" thing!
ReplyDeleteAgreed. First of all, it was a great episode all around(I thought) and I felt it ends very hopefully for Don...Sad, but hopeful. The "telling" the kid's scene was brutal (cried) and just made me mad at Betty (I know..he cheated, he lied..why I blame her for the kids' pain still baffles me a bit)..not logical I guess..Just my honest feelings..Am I saying "Suck it up for your kids".?? I don't know...I haven't crossed that bridge so I can not judge or say what I would do for sure..I just don't see how Betty thinks her life is going to be all that different...She barely knows this guy...I am sure that is fodder for next season. I still think John Slattery is the best actor on that show.
ReplyDeleteJohn Slattery is great, as is Christina Hendricks (Joan). And I've been thinking all day about why it is that I side with Don and despise Betty so much. I mean, he did cheat and he lied and has lived this double-life. I think, for me, it's her coldness as a parent. I can forgive a lot, but cold, neglectful mothering I cannot. Don has always been loving to his kids, clearly over compensating for the love he missed out on growing up so because of that I am much less hard on him than Betty.
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny Sarah...because I agree again completely...not only did I almost include Christina Hendricks in my John (Jon) Slattery "praise" sentence..I agree with the mothering issues..the cold "go upstairs" and letting them watch tv endlessly while she sits smoking, looking gorgeous and like she is in scene straight out of "Dial M for Murder." I love that Christina Hendricks has that big, beautiful figure and can do "anything." But why are we inclined to "forgive" Don's philandering and epic lies about his "life." It can't be just because he had a tough childhood? or could it? Does he srike a chord with smart, evolved women like ourselves because he so good at everything and dashing? I hold myself accountable as I ask this, because it is something I have overlooked many times in my past..and "loved 'em anyway" won over by all the "good" i say I saw in them...HHMMM? just an open ended question..
ReplyDeleteI ponder those same questions. I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately on my life, choices, etc., and always, when it came to "boys", I was way too forgiving and easy on them if they had those Don Draper qualities- charm, wit, intelligence, good looks. One thinks they outgrow those things, but here I am - charmed by Don, disgusted with Betty (though for all the above mentioned reasons, well-deserved). Could it really be that simple?
ReplyDeletePossibly..I think we women get hard wired at an early age and play it out in some way or another as we mature...and usually..hopefully make better choices and take responsibility for our lack of good judgment - learn more from our mistakes..maybe we will find out more about Betty's childhood (though I know i missed a few episodes..so we might have already) I know that having daughters makes me want to be particularly diligent to instill a sense of self worth and confidence in them..through their Dad and how he interacts with them and me, as well as through day to day conversations/actions with me..Since I grew up with a staggering lack of both..Don Draper is written and acted as the shear definition of "Tall, Dark and Handsome" rarely are women immune to that "legendary" combination and I think this show - though I know it's just a show..is a really interesting social commentary on that time (and even in some way - the timeless quality of certain parts of the male - female stereotypes in general) maybe I am getting too deep with something real obvious. But I think the "Me" generation as it were..has evolved and twisted and turned until it is now back to the way it was before the 60's?...More women staying home...questioning if "having it all" is really having much at all..? I'll get reamed for this...anyway..When was "The Feminine Mystique" published? Too tired to look it up... makes me want to read it..Interesting history lesson..Thanks for letting me ramble...
ReplyDeleteI love that we are all so invested in this "teleplay". My thoughts are simple...When you are consistently lied to you are forced to build walls around trusting your partner...yourself.....the world. NOTHING is more soul destroying. Betty had to get out. I suspect that the new relationship will go south really fast, as well. My hope... the drug movement will kick in she'll drop some acid and see the light!
ReplyDeleteWell, Berns, what you say is true and having been the "shut-downee", I know this to be the case. So. It just goes to prove that the Don Drapers of the world turn me into a shallow, blind fool.
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