18. Be as you want to be seen.

Does that make sense? I've been "lecturing" here for the last few months about aging gracefully, but really, that can only happen if you want it to happen. Growing old is a part of life, but growing up and accepting that can be difficult - at least, for some people. I do know others who handle it beautifully, though most of them don't live in L.A. This is one of the hardest places in the world to get older. I'm sure if everyone over a certain age (particularly women) could be put to pasture,  it would happen. There'd be a big "old" ranch in Death Valley. Cruel, cruel, cruel.

That aside, aging is inevitable. No Botox, Restylane, face-lift, Porsche, young boyfriend or young girlfriend is going to change that. It doesn't mean grab the "Mom jeans" and ignore the roots of your hair, or start wearing gray pleated pants and  let your beer belly grow. Conversely, it also doesn't mean competing with people half your age. There's a balance. 

There's a reason for cliches, and "Age is a state of mind" is one of those that ring true. Regardless of an anonymous comment to one of my recent posts, and despite the title of this blog, I don't spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about my age. Actually, I think I look and feel better than I ever have - though I do miss my 20-year-old skin and not having to work to stay fit. 

Living in Los Angeles, though, is hard - and being single over 35 is even harder. But if you can "be as you want to be seen" (and in my case that's more than simply how I look, it's also attitude, kindness, graciousness) then it will weed out a lot of people. Did you really want that middle-aged divorced guy in the Ray Bans, Panama Hat and concert tee who's got 750 women friends on Facebook? Or the woman who looks like she stepped out of the movie "Brazil"? I don't think so.

I told my son last night to move forward, don't listen to anything unless it's constructive, and fight the fight no matter what. 

The same advice can be given for aging gracefully. It's not impossible, even in Los Angeles.